I have spent the majority of my life blinded by my own selfish desires. Hindered by the outcomes of my actions. I have ruined friendships, damaged relationships and hurt loved ones along the way. All because of an inability to see anyone’s needs but my own. Rarely have I been able to look past my own pain and the rage that shadows it.

How did I get here? How did I allow myself to get so lost? When did I become this person I hate? These questions haunt me every waking moment. They follow me around like a dark cloud, unleashing spurts of my own lightning and thunder along the way. But rarely do these strikes hit me. Too often they hit the people I care about the most. The ensuing damage is more than I can bear, knowing sure and well that I have no one to blame but myself. I know love is inside me somewhere. I feel it deep down in my soul trying desperately to break free. Until now the scars of my past have been too much for it to overcome. But today that is changed. Today I am breaking free.

No longer will I allow pain and anger to dictate my actions. From this day forward I will be guided by love. This doesn’t mean that the pain ceases to exist or that anger is not present. Pain and anger ARE both very real. They are natural reactions to the hardships that strike us throughout our lives. However it is how we respond to them that truly defines who we are. We can allow them to control our actions and cloud our judgements or we can seize back the power and grab the reigns to our lives. The choice is ours. So today I take back control. Today I choose love. Today I choose life.

Categories: Life Posts, My Journal

Tags: anger, Choices, control, Jesus, journal, life, love